Assuming this isn’t a really well-made joke (“Real Men Wear Goatees”?) they should compile a list of every person who buys one of these like that national gun registry libertarian types are always going on about. Only in this case we’d use it for x’ing instead of imposing martial law.
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The Apple Watch Ultra 3, because there aren't pics of a rumored, unreleased Ultra 4 yet. – Credit: Apple -

Bruce Willis -

Nickelodeon