Our friend Helch just came back from Distortion Festival and can’t seem to stop “raving”… about how beautiful everything and everyone was, especially the gorgeous Danish women who were “totally into him.” The reason for that, he explained, is because he’s from Germany. We don’t know how far we can actually trust him with that one, but here are some of the photos he sent to us post-delirium.

It was nearly as cute as this sneezing Panda last summer.

This is the place where the 90s is still alive and kicking.

Is this possibly one of the girls Helch was talking about?

He claimed that Ida No distorted everyone’s head and “everybody fell in love with her instantly.” We still haven’t figured out where all this frantic emotion comes from and why every other word he’s using seems to be “love.”

Maybe the Danish weren’t actually being nice to the Germans–they were just plain lonely?

Dancing or something with a band we first mistook to be Der Tante Renate but then we discovered that it was just a random guy with a megaphone.

Either way, one thing is for sure–everybody ends up in front of this blue caravan trying to talk to a beautiful Danish girl at some point.

Incident on the Vice stage: the singer of the Vermin Twins required instant medical attention after thinking she was Gregor Samsa’s alter-ego.

What looks like an extremly lame carnival party is in fact the lame Danish answer to all the VIP parties at Côte d’Azur.

But the cool thing is, you’re brought there in style – with the “ravemobile.” Same thing goes for the after hours party. Hospitality still seems to be a pretty big thing for the Danish.

This kid was fucking amazing behind the decks. After his extremely professional set (whatever Helch meant by that, as if not fucking up your gear makes you a DJ brilliant or something) the DJ was carried away by Tomboy and the festival’s main dude. Rumors has it that later on something must have gone terribly wrong at their hotel room…

Because this is Thomas, the festival’s main guy, after someone used a fire extinguisher to kick his ass.

By morning everyone was on some kind of pills…

And here’s what was left at 10:30 in the morning after about 100 hours of raving.