by mamilton horris
photo by maggie lee

This is a touchy subject, I know. Largely because everybody seems to think that at some point they have been given an adulterated drug. Everyone who has done enough LSD will tell you they have dropped a blotter with strychnine, everyone who has smoked a little weed will claim to have once smoked PCP, and everyone who has been to a rave has been slipped a roofie. Now, I’m not saying it doesn’t happen, it does. But the vast majority of the time, your “PCP-laced” weed was just weed, your “dirty” LSD was just LSD, and your “roofied” drink was just alcohol.

A study conducted in the UK analyzed the urine of 75 women who reported having been slipped a date-rape drug. The study found that exactly zero of them had been given Rohypnol, GHB, or ketamine. Almost all of them were extremely drunk, though. A similar study found sedatives that had been taken involuntarily in less than 2 percent of the cases. These studies are hardly infallible, and again I’m not saying it never happens, but all signs seem to indicate the most popular date-rape drug is sold legally at every bar on the planet!

So if the majority of date rapes in 1994 are perpetrated under the influence of alcohol, why pretend otherwise? Because it’s an easy way to prohibit inconveniently fun drugs. Who wants to be the asshole who stands up in court to defend the supposed tools of a date rapist? Nobody. In fact, a similar tactic could be used for almost any unwanted drug: If we have date-rape drugs, why not jaywalking drugs or stabbing-people-in-the-face drugs? Could it be that the real problem behind date rape… is rapists?

That said, I am quite experienced with today’s most popular so-called date-rape drugs, and I thought I would share a few of my experiences with them. So let’s open the date rapist’s malevolent medicine cabinet to see what delectable potions he might employ, shall we?
KETAMINE Special K, Kit-Kat, K, Kitty Les Demoiselles d’Avignon GHB G, Gamma-G, Liquid X FLUNITRAZEPAM
Rohypnol, Roofies, Coma Biscuits There are many other drugs that have been claimed to be used to rape people with—everything from marijuana to cocaine to who-knows-what. The real question here is, what drug can’t be a date-rape drug? In case you didn’t get my point the first time around, the issue here is not drugs but rapists. I suppose I deserve a big karmic mouth-raping of my own for saying all this stuff, but the main danger with date-rape drugs is getting addicted to them because they are so outrageously pleasurable. And on that note, I’m going to sip a little more G.