Yo Vice,
I bought my GF this hejab the other day, but she got all feministic and refuses to wear it. Ever since the packet was left on my table, I’ve developed a huge crush on the cover girl. Her shades are dope, her lipstick’s hot, her steez is real. It’s like the forbidden fruit that dare not speak its name, or something.
TOM

Well, Tom, looking at recent trends it appears you’re not alone.