The thing on the left is the remains of a .308 Winchester soft-point cartridge, which was shot through a Blaser rifle into the chest of a West Highland hind in January 2009. The bullet killed the hind about 15 seconds after entering the body. The animal wasn’t killed because the bullet pierced any vital organs, but because of the sheer trauma of the impact.

We plucked this bullet out of the deer during the butchery process in the larder of the Ardnamurchan estate, where we stayed during the filming of the Deer Hunter video which you’ve probably watched or are about to watch or are having some problem watching.

The butchery process was a very grim, almost psychedelic experience. My head was spinning as the head stalker Niall Rowntree skinned and gutted the deer. The floor was wet with blood. Gore and mess were in my eyeline wherever I looked. When the beast’s womb was cut open to reveal a delicate, half formed deer foetus it was hard to ignore the brief sharp tingle of grief that jumped up my spine.

The things on the right are the deer’s back teeth. They were extracted from the deer a few minutes after the fetus was thrown in the bin along with the stomach and lungs. We kept the heart to put in a casserole later on, which I made by cooking it with red wine, veal haunches, onions, garlic, potatoes, and a wee dram of single malt whiskey, the kind that burns your esophagus to shreds after about 45 minutes of drinking it.

The back teeth are actually made out of ivory and are often made into cufflinks or badges by hunters. The owner of these things is Alex Miller, who shot the deer. He’s not made cufflinks out of them yet but he tells me he plans to. At the moment he keeps them in a little plastic bag that once contained oregano. The bullet is in there also. It’s a cute little package of death souvenirs that sits on his mantelpiece at home. When people pick it up they go: “Errr, that’s disgusting, get it out of my face.”

To Alex though, it’s proof that he’s a man. (His actual words.)