I learned years ago to kill my speakers whenever I’m doing something with this site (think it was during that “Welcome to heaven” ad’s reign of terror), but last night I let my guard down for the first time in months. Holy shit. That has to be the most obnoxious sound I have ever made in my life. It’s not even classically obnoxious like a horse fart or one of those horns that play “Dixie”—it sounds like the sort of joke-yell your dad would make when you were five and got him with a super soaker. I can’t even begin to imagine how trying these past few weeks have been for all of you out there who aren’t me. In any case, there should only be a couple days left before it finally gets replaced with something less irritating, but in the meantime this’ll have to serve as consolation.
THOMAS MORTON