Not to be all box of Patsy Cline tapes when you were ten and really wanted Paula Abdul and Neneh Cherry instead so you could roller skate in the driveway, but as we fade into the sunset of holiday festivities we’re going to offer up not your favoritest blog posts from throughout the year (we already did that during our last break, and wow was it depressing), but some that gave us a little chuckle. It’s called a gift so just say thank you and take it, even though we know you’ll tell us what we missed. Do you do that to your aunt when she gives you a present you don’t like, complain about what a fuck-up she is? Also, enjoy these wholesome photos from the Vice company holiday party, taken by Ben Ritter—who is not a party photographer so don’t even think that just because he took pics of our bash he is one—on a classy sit-down dinner and karaoke cruise ship around the city. Thanks for that, bosses. That was fun. (There, did that just buy me at least another month of good graces/guaranteed employment? Holy shit, this post is convoluted.) Anyway, click down there for your package of goodness. We’ll be gone a while so take your time…

Life-changing drug receptacles

In this day and age, please don’t be wasteful

More on being resourceful: digging through Gwen Stefani’s trash

Our exclusive pics from and interviews with those Greek anarchist rioters that lots of people ripped off

Scotland doesn’t give a fuck

Meg Sneed’s first DMT trip

Baby Balls gets some advice

Someone tagged our hallway

First encounters

An interview with Caroliner that made the comments section read like a record review in Bananafish

Dickheadz!

You do the darndest things when you’re really cold and bored

Prancehall calls out what’ll hopefully be the biggest problem with pre-elected President Obama, and everyone hyperventilates in the comments

How to start a rap war

Two Vice staffers suffer severe head trauma at parties two days apart

Doodles come true

Colombians and their bad tempers

Hamilton Morris smells like heroin

Panties goo-crust fortune-telling