Every relationship, no matter how healthy and happy, goes through ups and downs. To endure the more difficult phases, each partner must be willing to put in the work and committed to the connection. Here are five ways to get through hard times in your relationship.

1. Communicate Openly and Honestly

While it’s perhaps the most cliche piece of advice in the book, communicating with your partner is crucial during every phase of your relationship, but especially when you’re enduring difficult times. No matter how uncomfortable it might be, you must be willing to be vulnerable, talking through hard feelings. Even if you feel your thoughts or emotions are irrational, suppressing them will only lead to more conflict. 

Effective communication means listening and validating your partner’s feelings, too. Just because you might see a situation or challenge differently doesn’t mean their version isn’t as real or impactful as yours. There should be mutual respect on both ends.

2. Be Patient.

I know it’s probably the last thing you want to hear, but practicing patience is a must-do to survive rough patches. Every lasting relationship will have its dark times, and every person has their struggles. That’s simply a part of being human. If you throw in the towel at every minor inconvenience, you’ll never be able to weather the many storms you’ll face with your partner. 

3. Try not to catastrophize.

When we get triggered—especially in our romantic relationships, where the stakes feel particularly high—we often default to obsessive thought spirals and negative thinking. What might feel like a major, relationship-ending issue is often just a minor bump in the road.

For example, perhaps you and your partner have been busy the past few weeks, and you haven’t been connecting as often as you’d like. You might feel distant, neglected, and even abandoned. However, ask yourself whether this is an ongoing concern or a rare occurrence. 

Try not to mistake infrequent relationship challenges for patterns. If an issue persists over the span of months, then it might be more than just a hard time. But if it’s just a temporary blip in an otherwise healthy relationship, try not to catastrophize.

4. Cultivate an ‘Us’ vs. ‘The Problem’ Approach

A common mistake among many couples is viewing each other as opponents during difficult times. In a healthy relationship, you should address issues as a team. 

For example, let’s say a woman is traveling a ton for work while her boyfriend is feeling neglected and disconnected. Neither person is at fault here; the problem is the distance. However, many couples would channel their frustration and loneliness toward the other person. The boyfriend might label the girlfriend as selfish for always being away and expecting the boyfriend to wait around at home she travels the world, and the girlfriend might invalidate the boyfriend’s feelings and tell him he’s being dramatic. You can see how both sides villainize each other, leading to further accusations and even more of a disconnect.

Instead of attacking each other, the two should validate each other’s experiences and feelings, then collaborate to find ways to minimize the impact of distance. This solutions-based approach is much healthier and allows for even deeper connection.

5. See a Couple’s Therapist.

Seeking therapy is often viewed as a last resort or a negative sign for a relationship. However, even the happiest and most fulfilled, aligned couples can benefit from professional help. We all bring our own baggage, traumas, lessons, and perspectives to a relationship, and sometimes, they will clash. This doesn’t make anyone right or wrong, but it can make navigating hardships more difficult. 

Having a therapist to guide you through each other’s experiences and identify ways to compromise can save your relationship.