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Danny McDonald says he isn’t going to Miami this year for the fair. I think he is. I think he’s going and I also happen to think he’s going to have the time of his life. He’ll be at every party, completely off his tits on drugs, and when he’s not at parties he’ll be on the beach… provided he gets a couple of liters of SPF Infinity to cover that lily-white epidermis of his.

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Vice: So, you going to Miami?

Danny McDonald: Why not?
Why wouldn’t you go?
What’s specifically wrong with it?
Right.
What’s good, then?
OK.
Don’t you like parties?
The beach?
That’s the real reason, isn’t it? You just don’t wanna fry.

Forced To Sell Artwork From Personal Collection In Order To Offset Living Expenses (The Wicked Witch Of The West), 2008, mixed media, courtesy of Broadway 1602.

You want me to go for you? Shave my head and get some glasses?
What’s one reason you can think of that would make you go?
So you’ll probably go.
What do you have against art fairs?
You mean with the financial crisis?
You’re probably gonna go to the fair though, right?
I’ll see you there.