BY JASON CROMBIE
ILLUSTRATIONS BY ANDY SINBOY
 

---

Dudes are the most difficult people to find gifts for; consequently, many of them receive things like Barnes & Noble gift vouchers and socks during the holiday season. Being a dude myself, I can safely tell you that these gifts suck fat balls. They smack of thoughtlessness, and as we all know, thought is the most important thing. It’s what counts. Admittedly, there’s not a huge range of cool stuff out there for the average chap, so as a service to both you and all my brothers out there, I’ve composed a list of the most awesome gift ideas ever in the history of the holiday season. Check it out.
 

---

UNDERPANTS www.bjornborg.com, $26

A KEY WEST MARLIN-FISHING HOLIDAY www.expedia.com, $250,000

GAMO PT-80 TACTICAL AIR PISTOL www.airgundepot.com, $135

COOPER’S MICROBREWERY KIT www.makebeer.net, $100

A FOX YOU CAN KEEP AS A PET! Some exotic pet store, $1,500

IOLITE PORTABLE WEED VAPORIZER $249

A HYDRO SETUP www.homegrown-hydroponics.com, $750-a lot more

SEX IN A CAN BY FLESHLIGHT www.fleshlight.com, $40

LINDE WERDELIN OKTOPUS DIVE WATCH www.lindewerdelin.com, $8,760

LEATHERMAN SUPER TOOL 300 www.leatherman.com, $80

YOOSTAR AMATEUR GREEN-SCREEN KIT www.yoostar.com, $170 Pulp Fiction

THIS SODASTREAM THAT LOOKS LIKE A PENGUIN www.sodastreamusa.com, $200

KHYAM IGLOO TENT FOR THE COMPRESSION SESSION (CLAMBAKE) www.khyam.co.uk, $200

A HAMMOCK www.hammocks.com, $100-a lot more