Please take a moment and picture the scariest thing you can possibly think of. Reach way down–past the stupid normal crap like ghosts, past the bloodied serial killer holding your mother’s decapitated head–yes, being buried alive would suck ass, but you’re going to need to keep going. OK, got it? Is it scarier than a grown woman pushing a fake baby around London like it’s no big whup? No, of course it’s not. Nothing is, and if you say your thing was then you’re a liar. This morning this woman was in Dalston Shopping Centre buying bags of nappies for her plastic infant. She even had a changing bag hanging from the pram full of bottles and baby wipes.

I suppose it’s possible that this woman is an undercover and that baby is her pedophile bait, or that a pedophile stole her baby and threw that decoy in there, but I’ve got a horrible feeling that once the tragic headlines start appearing in six months and the bones are being excavated from beneath Dalston Superstore I’ll feel pretty bad for putting these on a blog rather than forwarding them to the police. That little Mini Mouse logo screams evil.