Photo by Ryan McGinley

Good morning! As devout readers of this rag already know, once every 12 months we release an issue of Vice bursting at the seams with everything you need to know about the current state of fashion. March is that month, and the 2011 Fashion issue is upon us. Hoorah!

Clothes. We all wear them. Whatever it is those hippies or astrological idiots like to say about everyone being united through the cosmos is all bullshit. Fashion is the only thing we all have in common. Terrorists, people who hate terrorists, Jews, Palestenians, the rich, even the homeless! We can all come together and agree that clothes are a nice thing to wear. What say we see what’s inside of this most special of issues?

Stylish Mexicans and the extremely pointy boots that make them so stylish

Our Editorial Assistant tries out the sexiest man fundies on the market for seven steamy days

A comprehensive guide for treating every stain ever, including blood from your ex-boyfriend

Jamaican Dancehall stars turning into fags

Shanti Ananda (the astrologist formerly known as Walter Mercado) has style out the ass

Islamabad Fashion Week

Chris Nieratko talks to the industry leader in artistic foot covers

The fashionable German youth gangs that lived for orgies and terrorizing Nazis

The many disguises of the drug-addicted community of Downtown Eastside Vancouver

Gaahl tells us about fashion and boyfriends

Sticky sideburns and stoner cumbia in Northern Mexico

A fashion shoot where we teach you how to Heimlich the fuck out of anyone who happens to be choking

A fashion shoot where we take a bunch of pictures of a pretty lady wearing swimsuits and being all pretty by the beach

A fashion shoot where we go to the future (2025) and take pictures of stylish cyborgs

A fashion shoot with imaginary friends

An interview with Gareth Pugh (who is rumored to be super-weird)

An interview with Hussein Chalayan

An interview with Nicola Formichetti, the creative director of Mugler and also the fashion director for Lady Gaga

An interview with the former model and current Brazilian stage actor Vera Valdez

Bob Odenkirk’s Notes From Fashion Don’ts Week in Milan

Heroin haberdashery and cocaine cobbling

Juan Hinestroza tells us everything we ever wanted to know about nanotextiles

Dogs with eyebrows! LOL!

Skinema: Hose Hoes’ 2

Sheppard’s Video-Game Pie: Yakuza 4

And of course, as it has been since time immemorial, you have a few options. You can spend the next few hours (depending on your reading speed) devouring the whole issue in a gluttonous frenzy or, you can check the home page every day this month, where there will be a new article from the issue up first thing every morning. And if you’re the classy type who likes to read magazines in magazine-form, here’s a list of a bunch of places you can pick up a copy if you’re all quick about it.