There’s a new biography about Nick Saban set to hit newsstands on Aug. 4, and ultimately, there’s already considerable buzz around it. Saban, head football coach at Alabama, molder of men, brief taker of an NFL job before heading back to college, wants to help his football team avoid the pitfalls of dating. With a spin on the “nothing good happens after midnight” mantra, Saban tells his guys to call it a night if they haven’t found a lady friend by then.

The lesson, ultimately, is one in cost-benefit analysis. Saban tells his guys that you don’t want to sleep with someone who has less to lose than you do so, ultimately, you have to go after a famous person, I think. The bar is set even higher for the head ball coach at Bama so, The Ultimate Lay According to Nick Saban™ would have to be a pretty powerful person.

“So, ultimately, if I’m ever going to sleep around on [his wife] Miss Terry, it’s going to be with Hillary Fucking Rodham Clinton.”

Ultimately, there’s really only one question I have for Saban: does that mean she gets your vote?