Welcome back from the long weekend. How was your Washington’s Birthday? You know, it’s not called “Presidents’ Day.” You should stop calling it that. You should also start watching your alcohol intake: look at everything that happened while you were getting drunk in gazebos and stumbling around the park near the library.

A STRIP CLUB BOUNCER WAS A DICK TO A GUY (via) He took his money and punched his face.

A GUY WHO LIKES IMAGINING RAPES MADE A CARTOON ABOUT A WOMAN WHO WAS RAPED FOUR DAYS AGO via THE LIBYAN GOVERNMENT PAID FOREIGNERS TO FIRE GUNS AT LIBYAN PEOPLE via A SCOTTISH MAN AMUSED HIMSELF WITH SWEAR WORDS via WE’RE ALL GONNA HAVE LIGHTER EVENINGS FROM NOW ON via DRUG CARTELS ARE KILLING EVERYONE IN MEXICO via MAC HACKETT