Hidden Figures

Honestly, I’ll just admit right now that I would probably cry at all the right places in this very deliberate feel-good movie. It’s so expertly packaged to hit every single emotional cue you’d expect from a real life story about three awesome black women who defy odds and stereotypes to become fucking NASA geniuses. Yeah of course, we’re all gonna cry. Plus I’ll watch Cookie, aka Taraji P. Henson, in anything.

Ben Hur

Ugh, I’m so disappointed in Morgan Freeman, this is so off-brand for America’s favourite grandpa. All I know about the original Ben Hur is that it’s considered one of cinema’s best-loved soft-core gay porns. I don’t know that it needed the full 300CGI treatment but it doesn’t matter how animated everyone’s thighs look, this promises to be expensive garbage. But at least Freeman’s dread wig looks cool.

Resident Evil: The Final Chapter

Full disclosure: I love every single Resident Evil movie in the series and this one looks equally awesome. I discovered the first one during a particularly bad hangover and have been obsessed with the drama of Raccoon City ever since. That being said, I do hope this is legitimately the final chapter because there’s no way all these characters should still be alive.

Morgan

Eeeeeeeeeh, I don’t know. Maybe I’m spoiled by Stranger Things‘ adorable Eleven, but this lab kid is just not doing it for me. The bar for adorably menacing cyborg children is pretty high at this point in the trailer game. I expect more than a carefully worn hoodie and a blank stare. On the plus side it seems like they really invested heavily in those computer window graphics that let you know this is that real deal sci-fi shit.

Well then, until next week, wish you all the best in walking away from explosions in slow motion.